Helplessly…


We live in bubbles, as the things we grasp during our lives are tiny in comparison to the sciences and knowledge that exists. There’s way too little for a man’s mind to absorb, comprehend and maintain.

If that smaller bubble you live in is messed up, and you feel the urge to pop it, you can’t wait till you get as far as you can away from it. But until it’s time for you to escape, the bubble had floated in the air for quite some time, caught whatever that’s surrounding it, made it even more unbearable for you to stay in because its path was only full of messed up places and distortions of what people call “Life”.

You get focused too much…WAY TOO MUCH! thinking about how YOUR life will NOT be like. The bubble keeps sucking in negativities while you’re in there, only receiving helplessly. By the time you’re about to exit, you’ll have a very definitive idea about what you don’t want, but maybe…

Maybe, you’ll discover that you couldn’t build up an image of HOW YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE!

Obviously I’m not talking about you at all…it’s me =D

Through the stages of my life, it’s way easier for me to note out what I didn’t like and the problems I faced and the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I can’t go back there and grab a solid achievement or an action I’d be proud of. I can point out the defects I observed and witnessed happening around me, the ones I’d leave out of my life for the future. What I don’t know is what do I want, which path should I lock on and walk it up to reach what I want, or “do NOT want” according to what I previously mentioned…

Sometimes it bothers me, other times the thought is just absent whenever I’m doing something I like. But for a person who hates repetition as his enemy, I only enjoy doing things for a limited amount of time. Repeating for a few number of times after it’s not anymore challenging or improving, unless there’s a vital reason for doing it. So I always end up asking myself “What am I doing? This isn’t enough, I can do better things, I can do more…!”

But that will happen if I’m already on something, which isn’t my case currently. I’m now complaining about the lack of things to do, and the lack of knowledge of what I can do so I can choose something. I think I need tutoring, guidance and some direction…

And for the path I’m gonna walk, I like to think about it in a way inspired from this game I play. In that game you basically pick a character –a champion- who has his unique abilities and skills at a specific type of fighting style. There’s a handful of champions who only excel greatly in the late game phase, since things weren’t easy for them during the early/mid game. So they pick a couple of useful things until late in the game where they perform their roles perfectly…

I hope I’m a late game player in this life =)

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Posted on September 21, 2011, in Everything. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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