“There’s a time, when the operation of the machine becomes so odious…
Makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part, you can’t even passively take part…
And you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears, upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus and you’ve got to make it stop!
And you’ve got to indicate it to the people who run it, to the people who own it
That unless you’re free
The machine will be prevented from working at all!” Mario Savio, 1964
The first time I’ve heard this speech was in Linkin Park’s song “Wretches & Kings” which I grew to like the more I listened to it.
The song upraises feelings of dissatisfaction with the present, urges people to reject their current status, to express their detest towards the life cycles they’re trapped in.
These feelings differ for me from time to time, during the days of the revolution. This speech acted in favor of keeping me enthusiastic about what’s happening and people calling for aborting Tahrir square and halting demonstrations for the sake of state stability.
Other times it’s for the people who are oppressed into working under inhuman conditions, living by the minimal standards of life. To seek better lifestyles because the machine can’t work without them.
But when it comes to me, it evokes feelings of self-dissatisfaction. Feelings of despair and uncertainty. Because if I were able to stop my life, my machine, I wouldn’t know which direction to look at to see the future lying ahead, possessing some kind of plan or a sequence of incidents that are gonna work up well. It would seem like all I can see is glimpses of my past life, beside flashes of my present. And both, the glimpses and flashes, only elevate the levels of unrest. I see myself leading a way that’s shut off from the worldly light. Like a tunnel, enclosing too little of the world, preventing me to see the light outside, preventing me to see others who are inside this tunnel.
It hasn’t been that way a couple of years ago, but it seems that as time passes, I draw closer to the traditional average human being than the few rare remarkables. It’s sad, I don’t like it one bit, I don’t know how to deny that fact and I don’t know where to start…