A rich fat CHAT
Have you ever been in a conversation, with your mother, where you can joke about her in front of your family? And she can joke back about you without both of you getting embarrassed even when both of you are saying stuff that’s too personal?
Have you ever been in a conversation when you can prove your mother wrong, and she verbally admits it? Then she proves you wrong and you admit it and be fine with it?
Have you ever been in a conversation with your mother, two brothers, three cousins and two aunts? And everyone is just pouring their hearts out, saying things you have never said to anyone? Hearing things you’ve never heard before? And not just being honestly honest, but also at some times bluntly blunt or offensively offensive?
This…was one of those conversations…!
It started with my cousin introducing the husband of another older cousin to the awareness campaign she’s working on. The husband works as an engineer and my introducing cousin is a graduated architect who works with an awareness campaign concerned with the upcoming elections taking place in the Syndicate of Engineers, the campaign called “Marsad”. Skipping hours of a very objective conversation, my mom showed up and participated, shifting the talk to how we oppose her in everything that we named her one of the “felool” (remnants of the overthrown regime). Then we passed by how passive I was as a kid and teen, and how my cousin thought I was mysterious, calm and kind and loved me for it. Then we went through some of the arguments we have with my mom, and the way the arguments with my mom go, and the way we want the arguments with my mom to be like. It was totally relaxed, nothing tense happened; no yelling or shouting took place. We were actually getting somewhere with this. I was free saying anything I wanted to say to my mom, some old existing boundaries were brought down, and I felt a lot closer to her, felt grateful to have her, appreciative of the effort she exerted bringing me and my brothers up.
Then came the part I was waiting for when my other aunt joined us, as I directly asked her “Auntie, I wanna know about my dad when he was my age. How he was like? How he thought?…etc” Maybe her answer wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but I found something in them that made me cry smiling. She mentioned that when they were young and she did something bad, one of my uncles would get mad and furious at her, shouting and wanting to beat her for what she did. When my father would protect her till my uncle calms down, then he tells her alone “You deserved that, and I could let you get it, you should know that –whatever she did wrong- is wrong and you should never do it”
It may sound trivial and not worth getting so teary about. But I felt happy to hear this story about him, to know that these stories are still alive in the people he touched. I told myself that this is the effect I’d want to leave on my family (getting teary again now). And between my plans and schemes of becoming someone, I felt that I’m not too far from this, I still don’t know about him being my age…but I feel we’re pretty much alike! And it was confirmed when my aunt’s daughter –my cousin- added that he used to call and talk to her for an hour and a half nonstop. He cares! He cares to this degree! And I think I care like this too! If this is only one story from my cousin, how much might the others tell me?!
I want to care that much,
I want my family and I to stay in touch.
I want hear from them and help them even if I was astray,
and I want them to remember me when GOD takes me away.
This was a night I enjoyed spending with my family; this was the night defining the relation I wanna keep with them. I…I’m overwhelmed with smiles =) Overwhelmed with love and appreciation =)