SINcere Apology

I have been mistaken, and I’m embarrassed since I did what I did. It was unacceptable, but it seemed the only option back then. It sucks when you lie, and you build another lie on it, and you keep on lying thinking you’re preventing something bad from happening. I did that, and I was wrong, because the more I lied, the more you called, the more I hated to answer and lie again. So I told you it’s not only 10 minutes, thinking I’ve cleared my side for the time being. And I also told you to leave if you had to, even though I really wanted to come. It was hard for me, and I’m sure it made you all angry. Which I apologize for, I didn’t mean it to go that way. But to me, there was nothing extra I can do, after waking up at 8:30am, things took the normal course. 8:30am is by itself late, but at that time I couldn’t help it.

Why did I wake up late? Because it was the weekend, and I finally got home. First time to sleep in my bed that week, the cumulative exhaustion and lack of sleep made me sleep like a cold fish. It’s not an excuse, but I’m just telling you how it happened.

I woke up and hardly got myself conscious, dressed and hastily packed, went out at 9:10am, already late. I told you I’m gonna be late, I didn’t know how long I’d take and I wanted you to wait so I said 10 minutes, I only said 10 minutes every time. I also lied about where I was, I didn’t want you to leave. I wanted to come. Didn’t find a ride from home as fast as I thought, while on the phone I was already past Cairo Uni, with 10 minutes to arrive. When I arrived in Giza, I didn’t know which ride to take. It took some time to know whether this ride would take me to that mall, after it took some time to find someone who knows the mall. And when I found it, your calls were increasing. I didn’t want to tell where I was, so I said I don’t know where I was, and I would be telling the truth if I was on the way, but I was just leaving Giza. I was feeling terrible; like it was the first time in my life to be this late. I didn’t want to lie anymore, at this point there wasn’t much I can do. I didn’t want to ruin the day for everybody. I messaged you “I still have more than 5 mins remaining, leave if you can’t wait”, and I didn’t like to do that. You were all calling me and I kept rejecting the calls, I thought “stop calling me there’s nothing I can do, and telling you where I am would only lead to insults and that was the last thing I needed. I deserved it, but it would’ve ruined the whole day for me. I turned off my phone, thinking I’d arrive whenever I arrive, not gonna get mad if they leave without me. I can’t get mad at you. I just wanted the silence, then I kept thinking about how things would go when I arrive. If I had arrived and you haven’t left or if I had arrived and you’ve already left.

Anyway, I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, I didn’t mean it to happen, I was looking forward to this day but I couldn’t make it, I hope you’re not angry at me till now…all of you…I deeply apologize!

Posted on November 10, 2011, in Everything. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. are you sure they got your message?

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