Pieces of mind
Today was a positive day, the accumulative negativity I’ve held for days has been lifted off me throughout the day. Thanks to imEU, EANA and my archies.
It became clear to me that it’s just a phase, exactly as a dear friend described it, which I have to go through, tomorrow will be the beginning of a two-week grindstone.
The problem I had was that I didn’t want to go through these two weeks, but as they drew closer, followed by the three weeks of midyear exams. In my mind, all of this became one big cluster of time which will pass and the curves will softly smoothen back to more normal phase.
I wasn’t looking forward to this, ever since before the year started. These times are tough because mostly all I can see are my deliberate failures piling up and grouping against me. Hitting me back one after the other. Times like this only put up my undoing and cover my whole horizon.
It’s just that, when you hear that a friend of mine had his sister crying when he told her that he’ll be back at the beginning of next month because he won’t be around, not because he’s travelling or leaving home for a business trip. But because he has to dedicate himself, his energy and concentration, time and senses to work on projects whose results won’t be very pleasable.
And even if he dedicates himself for two full weeks, he’s not even sure he’ll get everything done right. Misfortunes never occur solely, there’s always a series of unfortunate events. He’ll be stressed over things which can be simply ruined by many people who are or aren’t related to this work.
I find it hard to just pour myself over something, if I don’t know what to expect, or without knowing the worst that could happen so I won’t feel too bad about it.
I just don’t want to give this more time than it already had, but I need to get through these coming weeks to reach peace of mind, so I’ll be giving you pieces of my mind =)