The BIG


It’s new to me to have this continuous enthusiasm and massive affection towards something I’ve done. It’s been four days now and I’m still sharing the “Democracy” movie. Honestly, it’s the highlight of my 21 years being alive on this planet. I think the resulting effect will be kind of long lasting. This proud feeling of doing something that’s meaningful, neat and beautiful never happened together before.

Playing part in something that adds to those who deal with it, affects them and even changes them has always been a personal goal of mine. And I wasn’t able to do that by myself, because there’s a correlation between the value added, the effect, the change and the number of people participating in the process of making the product.

Destiny has a funny way of handling matters of one’s life

-I’ve spent four years now in college. The things I’ve always been proud of are the things I’ve done OUTSIDE college. As some may know, college has always been the heavy burden, the weight that’s holding me back. To endure and survive all this time and reach the senior year with only a few months separating me from the outer world where I’m expecting myself to shine, I’m supposed to be feeling an inner urge to finish these months as quick as possible, to wish they pass so quickly to reach the point where I can make real decisions regarding my future and what I’m gonna do with my life….

To have this happening now, is obviously a destiny’s trial to mock me…which I don’t mind at all =D

-For two years I’ve been working with my girls’ group, a couple of things occurred resulting in a breaking separation. A separation that lead me to find my archies group -my guys group- whom I became comfortable with and enjoyed working/living with for a year and a half now. With the decision of the guys to work with the girls earlier this year, with me not welcoming the joining of two groups, each representing contrasting phases of my life.

Then limitlessly enjoying it?! Destiny please, you gotta be kidding me…

-To be seeking fields other than architecture, like writing and art as something I love doing. Because it brings me down with its over-exhausting intensity and self-frustration from missing out on basic knowledge that I may never regain.

And then this production, the highlight of my life, to be concerned with both architecture and writing? That’s a sign which I interpret as “It’s not late yet, you are certainly not a total failure, you won’t come out of college with a ZERO like you think”

-To be trying to find the right balance between the need of being involved with others and discovering more about myself. The old INTROVERTED me vs my need for an EXTROVERTED me

To do noticeable progress in both ME’s. And realize that both are essential and are co-dependant, the change feels really great.

-To feel the urge, all of the time, that I need to fill up the holes where I see myself short. To feel that I’m behind others in so many many things, to be afraid to express myself, to have the most of the conversations…with myself

Then finding that this is not the answer…that I’m not behind or in front of anyone, that it’s NOT A RACE! THAT THERE’S ME, AND THE THINGS I DO, THE THINGS I DON’T DO, THE THINGS I DO BEST…and that everyone has those too =)

Still…
This DOESNT
BY ANY MEANS
MINIMIZES
ANY OTHER ACHIEVEMENT
I’VE MADE DURING THOSE FOUR YEARS
BECAUSE…
IT’S NOT THE FIRST ACHIEVEMENT
MANY HAVE PRECEDED THIS LAST ONE
SO,
AS I MENTIONED
IT’S ALL RELATED
IT ALL HELPED IN BUILDING AND CREATING
WHAT I’VE BECOME NOW
AND WHAT I’VE BECOME NOW
IS NOT STRANGE TO ME
ISN’T FAR FROM WHAT I WAS
THOUGH IT’S VERY DIFFERENT
IT’S NOT SOMETHING I MEANT TO DO
BUT IT’S SOMETHING I’M GLAD IT HAPPENED
BECAUSE IN THE END IT’S SOMETHING…I AM!

FOR ALL THOSE WHO MAY RELATE TO THIS SUCCESS
AND EVERY OTHER SUCCESS
DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
CLOSELY OR DISTANTLY
FULLY OR NEGLEGABLY

YOU
HAVE
HELPED

YOU
ARE
AWESOME!

I
DO
LOVE
YOU

AND
I
THANK
YOU
FOR
BEING
A PART
OF MY LAST
FOUR
YEARS

OF MY LIFE!

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Posted on March 8, 2012, in Everything. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Shrief Zaki (Your brother's friend)

    Hats off 🙂

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