Day 85: Karma definitely is a bitch…


Make one mistake, just a single mistake that is irreversible, uncorrectable and your day will not go the way you wish it would. That mistake will turn people mad, at you, nearly hating you for they had to take the blame with you when they didn’t have to.

bottomless dark pit

With only my haunting thoughts around, blaming me, insulting me, telling me off, unbelieving that I did what I did…

“There’s nothing there to see, nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me asking why?!”

Surrounded by regrets and guilt. I cave into the negativeness that follow…

The day keeps pushing me down that bottomless pit, with series of unfortunate events that make me feel even more guilt. I cannot ask for forgiveness yet, I have to bear the consequences and pay for my undoing. I wouldn’t dare ask for redemption and I cannot complain because I’ve earned this punishment, I deserve it. I’d take whatever punishment given by those who were affected by my mistake and I’d think it’s enough to free myself of this searing guilt.

But that’s never the way it goes, I do get punished by them, yes, but karma will persist. I must find punishment in every other thing, things that have nothing to do with my undoing. It just keeps getting worse as the days go by, and I’ll surrender to it as Karma keeps slapping me and stabbing me in every available opportunity.

Today, if I could just push and wake my exhausted self up. I wouldn’t have upset my boss for the first time. My colleagues wouldn’t have been yelled at, and consequently they wouldn’t have been mad at me. I might’ve still had my phone, I might’ve spent my day somewhere else…

Boss

What I really wanted to do is go and see one of my dear friends off before she leaves to travel. Or at least I would’ve been able to call her with my ‘not lost yet’ phone and wish her a happy birthday, a safe flight and another successful semester to come. Just to make her the tiniest bit happier, so she leaves with something to remember me with…

If only the damage is restricted to where I made a mistake, things would’ve been easier…

But that’s Karma and her works in life, and that’s one reason life’s never easy 🙂

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Posted on January 8, 2013, in Everything, Work Work. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. “If only the damage is restricted to where I made a mistake, things would’ve been easier…” ياااااااه الجملة دي بتلخص حاجات كتير …I love your choice of words “haunting thoughts,,exhausted self,,etc.” :)…”my ‘not lost yet’ phone” that was funny 😀 also the last paragraph was sweet ^_^

  2. I’ll tell you a secret..I made an account on wordpress just to “like” your stuff 😀

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