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WARNING! Distressed mode: activated, this is no expected come-back post

Death…

Death and I are pretty familiar with one another, we bumped a couple of times…

There are recurrences, there are moments when I get reminded of those whom I’ve lost…

Those recurrences are category-less, not all of them are happy memories, cherished moments, appreciable advice…

I get reminded of the worse, the opposite memories…

and I’ve been passive with those recurrences, regardless, good and happy or bad and sad…

I’ve been acting the way I’m supposed to act, the acceptance, the support, the uplift, the rock-solid appearance…

But in the middle of some of these recurrences, I phase out, at times I cannot be there, I pull myself out of situations that will take me back to the thought of…

How did I get here?
Without him?

I cannot question God, I cannot deny destiny…so I’m living with it…

And I think I’m stuck…

For all the words I withheld, for all the feelings I caged behind the rock-solid layer, is an unfinished story…

I don’t think I can…
Be there for someone who’s going through the same…
Losing a parent…

I don’t think I can…
Because someone else has lost both…

I don’t think I can…
Because someone else has lost a friend…

I don’t think I can…
Just be there and stay silent, when I’m expected to say things, from my experience…
When I see myself in shortage of a lot I need to learn…

I don’t think I can…
Because I’m stuck with this, that I prefer to keep it in, caged…
Although it could be what’s holding me back, on many many things…

I don’t think I can…
As the only thing I can, is to tell myself about comfort, to get from this recurrence, till the next…
And every year, at peak…
I get to vent a few words, following their predecessors…

Rock-solid mode: Re-activated…
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Posted on March 26, 2013, in Everything. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. “Because I’m stuck with this, that I prefer to keep it in, caged…
    Although it could be what’s holding me back, on many many things”
    خلينا نتفق إنك بتقول ألفاظ بتلخص الموقف ومن اسوأ اللحظات اللي بتعدي بالواحد إنه مبيبقاش عارف يعبر ..أنا باحسدك فعلا

  1. Pingback: Blank Two | Venting

  2. Pingback: Blank Three | Venting

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