Draftsman/Trashman


If my blog was one of those big corporates. These would be my job titles.

Why you ask? Because that’s what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve done it before for quite sometime and as I look now, it doesn’t seem I managed to fully recover.

If I had a dollar for every time I opened the blog, created a new post and started writing only for that post to end up as a draft or in the trash. I wouldn’t be a millionaire, but at least I’d have some sort of constant income.

Beside the previously declared reasons of prejudging my own thoughts and hanging them on the worthy/unworthy balance. Also reconsidering the point of writing here and its influence on those who get to read my inconsistent load of mostly negative crap. I successfully updated my “decreasing blog posting rate” syndrome, and it evolved new traits.

I start with a thought, break it down to several sub-thoughts, start writing, give birth to more sub-thoughts, filter sub-thoughts, then continue writing. After that when I’m reaching the end of the post, when I decide it’s too much, or when I feel I’m getting off-topic which I usually do involuntarily, I start to think of a conclusion. A conclusion that I feel some sort of obligation that I have to live by it, like declaration of a new personal law. That’s when I feel that it’s too limiting and too bounding, that I drop the whole issue, crumple the blog post and toss it behind my back (where it lands perfectly in the trash bin).

I’m also quite bored with myself and my writing here. It’s why I stopped after eleven days/posts of NaBloPoMo last month, it’s an improvement up from last year’s eight. I’ve been thinking, thinking quite A LOT about doing something more continuous, something more coherent, something more…umm…let’s say valuable.

That’s all I did though: Thinking…

full stop.

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Posted on December 14, 2013, in Everything and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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