The sickening whirlwind


This was meant to be a message to a friend, but when I started writing, the message went on to be this long, so I decided to post it instead.

The thing is, this whole week, I’ve been forced into doing college work all day all night. No chance to refresh and do something different…
The most entertaining thing I’ve done this week is playing around 200 minesweeper games…..alone….and I lost around 195 of them! How entertaining is that?!

This cycle of living everyday just to work for college makes me sick. Seeing how everybody else, everywhere else are living their lives, while I’m trapped in one place, working like a slave, losing track of time because of days merging together. I hate it and I hate me being in it.

Physically tired the whole time, feeling chained down, wanting to see other people, people I miss, people I have fun with…not that I don’t have fun with my archi group but…we’re living together! And the “workosphere” this week was full of tension, lacked work will and spirit…
It feels like everything I’ve talked about this week was either today’s sketch or tomorrow’s assignment or yesterday’s drawing that I didn’t hand in…

I need to change people and places; change elevates my spirit and cheers me up. And I’ll get back to work, maybe not happily willing to do it, but at least not rejecting it as much.

I keep foreseeing the time when this work whirlwind ends, and it seems too far, every week has a final sketch or an important assignment I’m forced to dedicate myself to.

And now, the weekend is starting, the weekend where people are normally going out, and I’m staying home, working on imEU’s tasks…
I’m lying between those who’re going out today and enjoying their weekend, and between my dedicated friends who are starting to work on Sunday’s design project from today.

I can’t go out and do imEU’s work as well, can’t do both.
So I’ll stay home and do it, and these hours will be deducted from the time I’m supposed to dedicate to the design project…!

So that’s why I feel I can’t give time to check on the people I want to. I’m not putting myself in my hiding place, I’m forced to be there, and as it seems above it’s not pleasant in anyway…

So…I appreciate you reaching out for me =)

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Posted on November 17, 2011, in Everything. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. If there is always a drawing to hand in, there won’t always be an EU task.
    It’s only for the week, and trust me you’ll feel good when the issue is out at last.

    w b3den ehna msh 3arfen ely feha?
    msh motafeken en elwa7ed law 3ndo 7agat keter (zay 7alatna 😀 ) hyfdal dyman fy dawamat prioritizing? having to choose between two v.imp options. every week at least!

    you’ll get used to it. and you’re doing the right thing now. Good luck fel design =)

    ana lesa msh mota5aylak fy multimedia! 😀 enta editorial w htfdal tol 3omrak editorial! 😀

    • I hope it goes that way, it’s my fifth year in this college and I’m aware of its supreme abilities of ruining my life and preventing me from doing the things I want.

      Every word you said is true, it’s just that I’ve had enough of it already, countless are the things college had taken from me…I’ll take this as the right decision, and I won’t regret the consequences. I’m taking just the “right amount” of each =)

      Thanks for the reminders =) and wait till the issue is out, I’ll prove how I’m Multi-torial to the bone =)

  2. Hey there Ahmed,

    Very well said! Bas take it from someone whose moved on from this stage. I hate to disappoint you, but the rest of life is a continuation of this. Being successful at work (there is always something extra you can do!)…spending time with your partner…time with your friends… time with your family…time for yourself! Getting things done at your home, weekly shopping, buying the new pair of shoes etc. etc. My advice…set time limits… i’ll work on the project till 6:00 and then from 6: to 9.. i’m going out.. or i’m going to watch a movie or whatever…. but set aside the time where you WILL get out of the cycle. Otherwise, you’ll never get the time to do what you want to do! Which will result in you being less effecient, and a lot less happy!

    Best of luck we isA el sana te3adi hawa :)….

  3. How come you moved on if the rest of life is a continuation to this?
    I don’t think this is the only way to live, I don’t expect to always have a cycle that traps me in and keeps consuming me 24/7 all my life…

    This is not the only way…

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